this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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