we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize