party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
