so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hippo gnu deer
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
