Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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