I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize