Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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