is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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