I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He shit in the fireplace
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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