I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize