4 words: hood of his car
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
