yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
zippers are such a cool invention
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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