Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
