we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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