Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
