I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
did i walk over a car last night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
