So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
