i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
