What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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