She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
