Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
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I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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