talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
