I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize