it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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