U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
are you so shy because you have an std?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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