two words: eviction party
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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