How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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