dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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