About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
