Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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