at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize