Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
