There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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