We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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