maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
