I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
