Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just want nice things and good sex
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize