Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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