just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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