JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
