I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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