yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
