i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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