don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
