you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
