I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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