Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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