You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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