dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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