Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i wish my penis had a tongue
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
