I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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