Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
