Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
