when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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