Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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