You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
