You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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