if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize