So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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